Sunday night, 10/23, I left a company dinner function early to bury my head in unfamiliar HTML for final touches.  Midnight passed. 4 A.M. rolled around and my heart hadn’t stopped pounding in my ears.  I knew the day had come that would make or break a ten month project, a project I poured myself into. Super Bowl Sunday…at the office.  Car-mageddon…at the office. Late nights and every other weekend…you get the point.  Staring at my presentation slides, I felt ill, like I had diluted the value of my message in bullets and formality.  So, in the final hour, I tossed it, and started scribbling notes all over scraps on a clipboard, then made a couple of simple slides, and decided to just be myself, planning for the worst and hoping for the best.  Finally, I closed my computer, tucked away my scribblings, slept for two hours, then sprung out of bed like a robot.  The morning flew by.  At 1:30 P.M., I took the stage for the reveal.  Thirty-some minutes later, it was over. Apparently it went well, amazingly well.  My speaking engagements of years past were the highlights of my year, and what I always looked forward to, but somehow this may have dusted those.  The feedback has been showering in, and I treasure each comment like it’s the last.  All I can seem to say is “Thank you”. But inside my heart hasn’t stopped pounding, and I think “So this is what it’s like to feel good.”

I think I’ll postpone my upcoming surgery…I want this high to last just a bit longer before reality sets in again. Procrastination or strategy…call it what you want.

October 29, 2011

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